Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
