Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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