Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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