im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
