I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
