New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
