Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
