I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
