No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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