Betty ford says i'm here all night
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
