Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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