hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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