I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
