Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
