The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
