They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
