I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
