thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
