google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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