I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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