I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
