O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
