So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
