Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
