We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
