These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
