hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
