Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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