it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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