Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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