Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
