i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
