i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
