Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
