how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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