i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
