I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
