is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
