This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
