i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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