I have demons in me.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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