He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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