She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
