we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
