you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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