i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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