How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
