2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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