Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
