The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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