I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
