So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
