i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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