I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
